Body after Baby

I was waiting until I lost all my baby weight to do a post about this.....and here we are EIGHTEEN MONTHS LATER. I know this is a super HOT topic for a lot of women Postpartum. And let me tell you...I S T R U G G L E D with my postpartum body. It made me feel depressed, proud, angry, sad, happy, shamed, humbled, strong etc. I had all the emotions towards my new body after baby. I talked about this in my breastfeeding post (read that here) because it was a HUGE factor for me in my postpartum journey, for most women, breastfeeding helps you lose the baby weight super quickly. Not for me, for me my body held onto to all the fat I gained during pregnancy to ensure it could produce milk. It's one of the reasons WHY we gain fat during pregnancy. No matter how much I worked out, I couldn't lose weight. Nothing made the scale move. I gained about 50 pounds when I was pregnant with Scarlett (47 to be exact). About two weeks after Scarlett was born I weighed myself and had lost 25 pounds. I was so excited, I was thinking oh my gosh, I'm going to be one of the lucky ones and lose this weight super quick............HAHAHAHA! The scale stayed in the same place for 13 months. IT DIDN'T MOVE. I got so upset and discouraged with myself every single time I stepped on the scale. I didn't do it often but when I did I always felt so much disappointment in my body. But, I had to keep reminding myself I was making a choice to sacrifice losing the baby weight to continue to breastfeed. (again to read more about my breastfeeding journey...click here) Just because I was making that choice, it didn't make it any easier when I read the number on the scale. It didn't make it any easier when I got dressed and never felt good in anything I put on. It didn't make it any easier when I couldn't put those damn pre pregnancy jeans on. It didn't make it any easier when I stood next to my skinny friends in photos. It was a day to day struggle. The biggest motivator for me was not necessarily seeing a certain number on the scale (even though I really wanted to get to a certain number) but I wanted to feel like myself again. I wanted to feel good in my own skin again.

Because it took me so long to lose the baby weight, I learned a lot about loving my body at ANY size along the way. It was a really valuable life lesson for me. I have always been a petite person but I have never been able to eat whatever I want. My weight has always been something I have been conscious of. To be honest, a little too conscious of. I learned to have compassion for myself and my body and that's something I wish I had learned a long time ago. It took going through this struggle to give my body the grace it deserved. My body has come a long way in the last 18 months but so has my mindset towards my body. I learned how to dig deep within myself and find confidence when I didn't think I had any left. Braden always says to me, confidence is the most sexy thing I can wear. So for him, and for myself I wanted to still be that confident sexy women he fell in love with. Even when I didn't feel it. Even if I was 25 pounds heavier than I wanted to be. When you're only 5'2...25 pounds is a lot of extra weight to be carrying.

So how did I lose the last 25 pounds of baby weight?

A couple of different ways. It took from March to August to get the rest off. Right when I started to wean Scarlett at 13 months, the rest of the weight started to go. It really is incredible what our bodies do. I lost like 8 pounds immediately just by going to one feeding a day and at that point I wasn't worried about taking in as many calories to produce milk. I just started eating when I was hungry instead of forcing myself to eat just to keep my supply up. When she was completely weaned I started doing intermittent fasting. Intermittent fasting is basically fasting for 16 hours between when you eat dinner to breakfast the next day. So if you eat dinner at 8pm you can't eat until 12pm the next day. I lost about 10 pounds that way. So I had about 5-7 pounds still to get to my pre-pregnancy weight. I sat here until about a month ago because I wasn't stressed about it. I felt great but I just wanted to lose the last bit just to prove to myself I could. I started the Keto diet about a month ago and have actually lost almost 10 pounds on it. I won't get into a huge description of Keto. It's definitely not for everyone because you basically eat meat and cheese. I don't think I'll do it long term because I don't feel like I need to but for the time being I'm liking it and my body is responding well to it.

So here's what I have to say now that I am finally on the other side of it. Give yourself GRACE. Looking back, I wish I had given myself a lot more of it. Love your body because it brought a beautiful baby into the world. Focus on all the good your body is doing for you and all the strength it has now. By sharing my story with you, I hope that you will find peace in the journey, something that I struggled to find. Trust that you will lose the weight and you will feel yourself again. Even if it takes more time than you thought it would. I have found peace in this new body. The weight is gone and yes I am at my pre pregnancy weight but my body does look different. My hips are wider and my waist will probably never be as small as it once was. BUT THAT"S OKAY. I am proud proud proud of my body and ALL that it has done from pregnancy to labor to breastfeeding to now chasing a toddler around all day.

I love when people share a good before and after so I thought I would share mine even if that makes me a little nervous...actually A LOT nervous haha. The first photo is 3 months PP and the second was this morning 18 months PP. The before photos were never meant to be shared, they were just so I could see my progress...so please be kind.

Also...peep my hairline in the before photos! Postpartum hair loss is a THING people. My hair is thicker than ever now. Glad to be on the other side of that too.